How are you today? You look wonderful, if I may say so. I mean, you always look great, but today even more so than usual. How do you do that? It seems unfair that you could be so good-looking and exceptionally intelligent. Oh, and by the way, have you read my book?
Did that work? Hm, thought not. Then again, maybe it did, even if you saw right through my cheese-drenched insincerity. A friend of mine recently remarked on something odd about flattery: it is virtually irresistible. We all love people telling us nice things about ourselves, particularly if we think we deserve it, but even if we don't. It makes us feel good about ourselves and like the flatterer more. And the strangest thing is, my friend continued, flattery continues to work, at least a little, even if you strongly suspect it's insincere. I complimented my friend on his extraordinary insight, and suggested he buy my book, which explores the extent that we all run on self-deception and positive illusions - which may explain why we're such suckers for flattery.
Later I came across this study, from the Journal of Marketing Research, which provides evidence for our supposition. Consumers being sold to will discount the flattery of the salesperson or marketer - but a trace of their satisfaction at the flattery remains in their unconscious, and positively affects their purchasing decision, as long as they're not giving too much thought to it:
(W)hen prospective consumers are fully aware of a clear ulterior motive underlying the compliment, both prior research and intuition suggest that recipients will discount the flattering comments and correct their otherwise favorable reactions. In contrast, this research uses a dual attitudes perspective to show that even after consumers consciously discount a blatantly insincere compliment from the marketer, the original positive reaction (the implicit attitude) toward the marketer coexists with, rather than being replaced by, the discounted evaluation (the explicit attitude). Subsequently, the implicit reaction is manifested when cognitive capacity at the time of measurement is significantly constrained, while the explicit judgment is reported under unconstrained conditions.
Hat tip: Farnam St
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