Oh God. This is even worse than the last example of the genre. I suppose that some of the preening fools involved in that video concluded that they'd "made a difference", and now they've got an election under their belt they've decided to imbue the country with the spirit of service, when in fact the best service they could possibly perform is to stand on the steps of the Lincoln memorial and allow a grateful public to pelt them with rotten fruit and breast implants. At least that might raise morale.
But hang on - what on earth could be wrong with famous people pledging to work towards a better world? Am I being unnecessarily cynical?
Well no, actually, thanks for asking. The point of public service or sacrifice is that it's public - ie it's not about you, it's about the world out there - and it involves giving up something you're currently doing and may be enjoying. Sacrifice is at least a little bit hard, right? Actually some of these "pledges" are worthy of the word - but they're mixed up with some that aren't, which confuses and spoils the effect.
The problem can be summed up in two pledges that comes hard on the heels of each other early on. We hear one from Courtney Cox and her stalker "to end hunger in America" OK - not bad. A little grandiose, but it's a clear enough goal and the relevant charity is namechecked. Next up, a pledge to "smile more." Smile more? If it's just about smiling more then anything counts. As if that weren't bad enough, it's closely followed by, "To laugh more and to love more." No, no, no.
Next, the little guy from Entourage appears. "I pledge to go to USAservice.org and find a service project that I am passionate about". OK, that I can respect: it's reasonably specific (although it leaves a little wiggle room - it could be "To go USAservice.org, find a service project I am passionate about, then get distracted by facebook and the football scores and forget about the whole thing," which obviously wouldn't be so helpful), it's practical and it will, or should, involve doing actual work. Kudos. But then, Cameron Diaz pledges to give her neighbours a smile. Look, by all means, flash those perfect teeth to the bejewelled and befurred millionaires you pass in the lobby, but don't tell me that this is an act of service to your country. Don't you see, Cameron, that this devalues the very notion of service, of "pledges"? Cameron? Are you listening to me?
A middle-aged actress I don't recognise pledges to "reduce my use of plastic." Well, that's pretty good - specific enough. And presumably she can start by cancelling that forthcoming doctor's appointment (now that is me being unnecessarily cynical). Somebody else pledges to plant five hundred trees this year - ten out of ten. This, my friends, is what I'm talking about. Next up, P Diddy says he's going to turn the lights off - and then points at me and says, now you turn the lights off. OK Diddy, it's a deal - but only if you surrender your private jet. I can't hate P Diddy for this sort of nonsense because for some reason he doesn't seem to emit the stench of self-congratulation that wafts off most of the people in this video. He's just a chump. Much worse than Diddy: an unidentified young actress (I presume) says: "I pledge to help children to understand that just because they come from a small place doesn't mean they can't dream big." What. The. Fuck?
Demi Moore: "I pledge to free one million people from slavery in the next five years." Hmm, specific and worthy - if a little over-ambitious for one person. Then, somebody anonymous and stupid says: "To never stop learning and growing each and every day." Like much in this video, this is a sentiment best reserved for one's therapist. Even stupider: "To be a better person." This is the quintessential expression of the confusion that's at the heart of this video and so many of the contributions to it. I will say this slowly. IT'S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU. Tell us what you're going to do for your country. If it's nothing, then fine, I'm not judging, I'm not doing much either. But please - just tell Demi you can't make the shoot next time.
You see, I'm not being cynical. Quite the opposite. I admire the spirit of collective endeavour and public service. But this video does violence to that noble idea, by confusing public service with the trivial and the personal. If millions of Americans view this video and conclude that they can meet their president's rousing call to service by "smiling more" then it will have done far more harm than good, to the country and to his presidency.
It ends with a harangue. "What's your pledge? What's your pledge? I know you got a pledge, what's your pledge? What's your pledge?" The participants chant a quasi-Maoist mantra in unison as the screen splits into checkers: "Together we can together we are and together we will be the change that we seek." Then they all dissolve into the face of Chairman Obama. Now, as readers of this blog will testify, I'm generally quite sympathetic to the new president and would count myself as an admirer. But this truly is the kind of cult of personality stuff that his critics are always carping about. Watching these celebrities resolve into the president's face, like so many pores resuming their places, makes me very queasy. If they had to use an effect like this, why not dissolve into an American flag? That would have signified service to the Republic, not to one man. But then, it's the urge to personalise everything that makes this whole video such a deformed parody of philanthropy.
Isn't the 'unidentified young actress' the Beeb's very well-known Mariella Frostrup?
That said, yes, the thing is sickening, and I didn't make it past 3:00. By that time I was wondering who was behind it. Certainly not the media and message-savvy team that brought us Obama.
I gather that your underlying point is that the ad is counter-productive, that it will dissuade as many as it persuades. Include me in that former group, because nothing turns me off faster than a troupe of extraordinarily privileged people telling me what to do. It's fine when they get together for We Are The World or similar, but when it comes to right living, I'm doing as much or more than they are, thank you.
If they want to persuade me to join their scheme, I'd prefer to hear from Obama himself, and from a group of already committed volunteers from ordinary walks of life. Better that they should all be with him in the White House.
What an annoying, pretentious video.
Posted by: dp | January 26, 2009 at 01:13 PM
I sat through the whole thing without puking, which is a good thing. The split infinitives alone (all that pledging "to never" do this and that!) nearly gave me a migraine. Can someone please give me those four minutes and 18 seconds of my life back?
That said, the middle-aged woman swearing off plastic was Rita Wilson -- comedic actress, producer, and partner of an obscure thespian called Tom Hanks.
The presumably young actress who hopes to help small-town kids dream big was Jaime (pronounced Jamie, not J'aime) Pressly, a 30-something actress.
Knowing who all of these nincompoops were makes me feel like swearing off gossip mags and entertainment news. Hence, I pledge...I pledge...I pledge not to spend another sodding penny on OK!, Hello!, People, USWeekly, or similar. (Well, maybe sometimes, but on those occasions I'll smile at my neighbors or plant a tree to make up for it.)
Posted by: Lyle | January 26, 2009 at 02:50 PM
Someone in that video, some bimbo uttered, "Servant to the President," and boy no one noticed....
Where were these people in the past decade?
I pledge not to do coke and weed any more.
Posted by: Joe Shmuck | January 26, 2009 at 05:41 PM
Wow you comment people are so hip - on top of everything!
But hey - some young people out there might dig this shit - they not smart like y'all! So what? Is that bad now? This ain't Goebbels! Smiling is a start! Did you watch the people at the inauguration? The New Mood wasn't made in Hollywood - it was made in the streets. Check Bill Cunningham - he got the picture.
Wasting your time on hightone cynicism of this shit - now that's frivolous.
Stick with the main message huh? Not these dumbass commercials - they just a home run derby! Tackle the big issues here comment people - your prez is!
But hey - for the record - you cool - you hip!
Posted by: Ogilvie | January 26, 2009 at 09:09 PM
Very funny - but a rant of nine paragraphs? I agree its drivel...but nine paragraphs? I'm surprised that you found the time. Absolutely love the blog though.
Posted by: Melanie | January 26, 2009 at 09:28 PM
Pressly it is. Prompted partly by a belated recognition that Frostrup is Norwegian/British. So why would she be doing a promo like this? Doh! Funny thing is, Pressly (1977) looks and sounds a lot like Frostrup (1962).
Watched the whole thing this time, and yeah, there's some really sick stuff, like the guy who wants to serve Barack and kisses his biceps.
What are the odds that this is a hoax, some bit of disinfo?
Posted by: dp | January 26, 2009 at 09:30 PM
You folks are acting like Mark MacGwire at a homerun derby - is this commentary necessary? Are you exposing something that isn't obvious here? Stick to some difficult subjects - your prez is!
Posted by: rob | January 26, 2009 at 09:32 PM
Having watched this video with great care, I pledge never to have plastic surgery.
Posted by: Marie | January 27, 2009 at 01:03 AM
Sheesh, Ogilvie, we're just having a laugh!
When people take themselves really seriously, as these celebs seem to do, it's fun taking them down a peg or two. We all know their hearts are in the right place, though. Obama's call to service has inspired them and they are trying to do their part.
What's a homerun derby? I've never heard that phrase before, and then suddenly it pops up twice in one comments section.
Posted by: Lyle | January 27, 2009 at 02:46 AM
Sorry Lyle my dad and I were just talkin about it and turns out we both sent a comment!(home run derbies are baseball contests where contestants hit easy pitches out of the ballpark) And we do love Marbury - he writes some great commentary. Mostly!
Posted by: Ogilvie | January 27, 2009 at 09:30 AM
Brilliant!
Posted by: Alex Kasterine | January 27, 2009 at 08:19 PM
Who is that dickhead who does all the funk this funk that and kisses his own tats? Him he looks dead hard him.
Understand that I pledge from this day forward, only to evacuate my bowel on alternate days - don't worry this isn't the pooday it's tomorrow - so that together we can make a better future and I love those sweet little buttercups as they sway to and froth on an azure breeze and whiskers on kittens.
Keep the Faith
Posted by: The Dandiprat | January 27, 2009 at 09:45 PM