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April 27, 2011

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Hal

The messages that local culture sends people about how happy they're supposed to be may matter more than how happy people actually are. More than one former Texan in New York says that in Texas one is supposed to smile in all social situations and act as if life is good at all times. This is not the same as being happy. In New York, by contrast, we can make a sport of complaining about the crowded subways and the people riding them, the tourists in midtown, the chain drugstores, whatever. Not having the same social pressure as Texans to act happy is a great relief. In fact, it often makes me happy.

Z

As a soldier, I know that having others around you who are experiencing the same hardships is essential for getting by. If I was the only one going through all of the shit I put up with then I would probably conclude that the world was unfairly stacked against me, and suicide would seem like a bright choice. But when everyone around you is miserable, you feel less personally victimized, and so are less likely to despair, it seems.

What this shows is that suicidal thoughts are not simply brought on by misery or stress exceeding ones coping mechanisms, as is often claimed. A community measure of how one should feel plays a factor too. This then, explains the phenomena of rich spoiled kids offing themselves at a much higher rate than poor kids with low social capital. It's not just that the privileged have less developed coping mechanisms (although they probably do). It's also that the privileged are conditioned to think that they deserve to be quite happy, since everyone around them is, relatively, happy.

Marbury

Thanks Hal and Z, those are great, thought-provoking comments.

simon kane

Are the privileged also more isolated? May population density be a factor? Soldiers live communally.
I'm not convinced by the idea that if surrounded by those happier than us we simply eliminate ourselves as a forfeit, but I do think it's likely that the amount we have to put up with other people could simultaneously hamper both our happiness and the solipsistic urge to cut all ties with existence.

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